Several ice ages ago (or was it in the future), somewhere on a Scandinavian continent, lived a tribe of wandering bards and musical muses, locally known as 'The Curvy Love Dogz'.

They would travel on their mega sleds from town to town, settlement to settlement, trading songs and legends, myths and potions, tricks and treats, for the stuff of existence - nourishment, alcohol and pleasures of the flesh.

Little did the Curvy Love Dogz know they were being watched from space by a race of super beings from a planet circling Alpha Centauri. These beings were known only as 'The Rock Godz'.

Due to an excess of pollution and bad vibes in their atmosphere, combined with a bad cola habit that kept their dentist in full time employment, The Rock Godz had become sterile, only being able to reproduce via genetic implant therapy.

They needed to interbreed with a quasi human life form in order to maintain their genetic existence. The Rock Godz viewed the Curvy Love Dogz in a favourable light.

So plans were hatched, theories were tested, strings were boiled and batteries changed in preparation for the most important gig so far.

One of The Love Dogs was a particularly attractive wench, who was known for her prowess in hunting. So good was she, that she was actually named after her weapon of choice. I refer, of course, to Britnee - the Spear.

And it was Britnee who took the eye of the leader of the Rock Godz, Britnee was to be the mother - the Eve of the new race of Rock God/Love Dog hybrid mutant muso morphs.

The leader of the Rock Godz was known by the name Lemmie the Lurch. A handsome brute, he steered his star probe - Rick'n'Baker with skill and finesse. Previously from the tribe of the Wind of Hawk, Lemmie cut a dashing figure in denim and leather.

And so the seeds were sewn as the experiment was prepared for a sonic insemination, using low frequency pulse width modulation technology for the fusing of the strongest of two semi incompatible tribes.

Somewhere deep in (and out of) time and space, the multiverse shuddered and heaved as the deed was done.

And then it went quiet...........

A snake slithered by.

The wind of change whisped almost silently across the desert floor.

The seventh second of forever became still, waiting for the eighth second.

The only card that I need is the ace of spades - the ace of.....hang on a minute - is this the right legend?

The Rick'n'backer had rematerialised in ancient Egypt.

And so the scene was set. One midsummer's eve, The Curvy Love Dogz were travelling the well worn path that would one day become Watling Street. Or maybe it had been Watling street, many years before.

In those days, before the continents had drifted as far as they have today, and the North Sea was still the North (Ice) Plain, pre - celtic society was influenced heavily by, and made up with significant numbers of Viking like ice - bedouin. Travelling from gathering to gathering like a group of new age travellers, but without the Ozric Tentacles CD's!

And in time, the bastard child of Lemmie the Lurch and Britnee the Spear was spawned into a desert land - a land of Pharoahs and scarabs sphynx's and Jinks's.

And history would be subtly altered forever, for instead of just plain old King Tut, the world was cursed with King Tut - the curvy nordic love dog.

Instead of a spear, his weapon of choice the thunderstick, instrument of subharmonic debauchery, subversity, insurrection and groove enhancing love promoter, otherwise know as THE BASS GUITAR.

Like a scene from close encounters, as The Curvy Love Dogz approached a place between Lactodorum (Towcester) and Magiovinium (Fenny Stratford), they observed what appeared to be a red neon pyramid drift down from the sky and land on it's base on a nearby hill, quite close to the local Pizza Hut.

Suddenly, everything became dream like, as if The Curvy Love Dogz had drunk just one cup too much of chamomile tea.

A strange throbbing oozed from the very bones of the earth itself, as a mist that smelled strangely of diesel fumes lapped at their ankles. Coincidentally, they were standing on the very spot that, in millennia, would become the local bus station.

And so a team of mystic seers emerged from the Rock Godz red pyramid and laid an enchantment on the Love Dogz.

They were gathered into the vessel and prepared for suspended animation. This preparation involved consuming huge amounts of jelly babies and icing sugar sandwiches to provide sustenance for the long journey home.

Of course, no trip to this place would be complete without seeing the sights, so The Rock Godz took in a movie, tried a bit of skiing and visited the concrete cows before heading for their staging post in Wiltshire to make final preparations for their long trip home.

But what of Lemmie and Britnee - well that's another story in itself.

King Tut is still alive and well living somewhere near Wolverton. He found Egypt a bit on the sticky side, especially when Mrs Tut and all the little tut's came along.

King Tut can still be found spewing forth low frequency, sub harmonic diversity from time to time with various intergalactic cohorts.

He'd be happy to welcome you to any of these tribal gathering - just click on the forthcoming gigs link.

If you want to find out what this is really all about, drop me a line and ask, but if you need to ask, you probably wouldn't really understand if I told you.

Keep an eye on the site for updates to the legend, and if you have any legends of your own you'd like included, just drop me a line.

Stay groovy, dudes, and remember - if it ain't gonna grove, the dudes ain't gonna move!

Keep it low,

King Tut - the curvy nordic love dog!